What Brought Me to This Place?

by Lucian Thompson
Published November 21, 2005

What brought me to this place? Here in the falling rain, I come face to face with the reality that you are gone. I may never find you again. I chased you away with my never-ending failures. The flowers I clutch in my hands are wilted and bent askew from the heavy rain. They reflect my brokenness with their saddened condition. Flowers that once stood so proud and beautiful to behold, now show the neglect of reckless care.

I remember how it used to be. In those days, I would bring you flowers everyday. I would tell you how much I loved you and how much you meant to me. I spent all my waking hours adoring you and feeling your love wash over me in return. What brought me to this place?

Somewhere along the way I stopped to stray and lost the need for tomorrow. In that dark and distant part of my life, I learned the meaning of sorrow.

I am but a shadow of what I used to be. My life is poured out like sand that flows from an hourglass. Wishing, no… hoping that I could go back to my first love; that love that made my heart dance and overflow with joy. Remember, I danced in the rain and sang songs of love to you? You were my all and all, and I gave my heart to you. What brought me to this place?

Darkness came upon me like a sheet draped over my head and I lost my way. I was lured by the lust of the world and embraced another’s charm. I was carried away by seducing voices that called out my name. I turned from you, oh lover of my soul, and followed after the desires of the moment. My soul was vexed by the filthy conversation around me and I let my heart be divided and torn for just a brief moment. That is all it took for me to slip to this place I now stand. Dirty, disgusting, and vile, clutching the bouquet of wilted flowers, I cry, “what brought me to this place?

They say you will give me a second chance; a second chance to be held in your arms. Another chance to feel your love surround me and possess me, like before. I know I don’t deserve it, but I beg you please; take me back again and restore my place in your heart. I confess that I have sinned and fallen short of your glory. I confess that I walked away from you, not you from me Take me back again, I cry on bended knees, and cleanse this unworthy soul that I may be able to walk with you and talk with you again without the shame I now feel.

………………………

“Dearly loved of God, I brought you to this place, because I am, the God of second chances. I never left you and I never will. I open my arms to you. Come home my beloved. I love you with an everlasting love. I accept the flowers you offer Me. They are a sweet smell to Me. Welcome back, my child who is called by My name. I am, the lover of your soul. I died for you so that you may live in Me. I brought you to this place that you now kneel, the foot of the cross. Take of the blood that flows from this cross, it is my everlasting love for you and I give it freely.

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