The Snoring Story

Marriage Enrichment Series - 7 of 12

I wanted to cry. I was bone tired, snuggled under my comforter, and donned in my favorite nightgown…just entering that blissful moment between dozing and dreaming, when the “noise” began. My husband, who had been in bed approximately three minutes, had already begun to snore loudly.

Snoring. Ha, ha. Big joke on sitcoms and in humorous little gift books, but not that funny in real life. Since his head cold had begun two weeks prior, my husband Jeff had snored loudly every night—all night long. And since we have no spare bedroom, or a couch long enough to sleep on, my options were few. I found myself angry, irritated, grouchy, and sick to death of this interruption of my sleep. I remember actually having fantasies of sitting straight up in bed and screaming, “STOP that snoring!!”

During those sleepless nights I began to examine my heart in light of Galatians 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

I memorized that scripture years ago, and frankly it’s a whole lot easier to quote it than to live it. Laying there seething (pillow over my head, earplugs plugged in, a fan running to mute the snoring) I began to ask myself; what kind of fruit was I producing in my marriage at that moment? As I examined my heart in light of Galatians 5:22 I had to admit I was producing anger, rage, and self-absorption.

It’s during the stressful times of our marriages that our spiritual fruit gets a “quality inspection.” And although my fruit may not have passed the test that night, I continue to allow the light of God’s word to change and mold me—helping me to be the wife God wants me to be. Irritations in marriage will arise—and when they do we have a choice to make.

Our first choice is to let the irritating behavior divide us as married couples and to give free reign to our anger. Or we can choose to allow the Holy Spirit to grow “spiritual fruit” in us during the times of anger, irritations, and upset. As I lay there that night facing the ugliness of my own heart, I began to cry out to God for the fruit of the Spirit to be produced in me. While distressing circumstances may seem to reveal our ugly side—they also cause us to cry out to God for more of His Spirit and for a deeper level of holiness. And in the end, it’s actually the hard times during our marriages that can eventually produce some of the sweetest fruit!

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Paula Friedrichsen is a conference speaker and the author of "The Man You Always Wanted is The One You Already Have" (Multnomah 2007). She lives with her husband and daughter in Northern California.
© 2008 Paula Friedrichsen - All rights reserved.
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