The Journey of Living Single

by Jimmy Cochran
Published April 7, 2005

I tend to get the question a lot, "How come a nice guy like you is still single?" "How has some young lady managed to let you escape?" Of course, on the inside, they are thinking; "Sheesh, what is the matter with him that nobody would marry him?" "He looks nice, but he must have some type of 'condition'!"

There was a time that this would bother me and I would start to feel inferior and like I had missed an important boat in the sea of life. However, as I've grown older both chronologically and spiritually, I have come to realize that being a single Christian can be a blessing. When friends of mine were marrying and starting a family, I was able to spend more time helping out at church without having to worry about leaving my spouse or children alone for too long. While my friends had to maintain bedtime, homework, sports and other routines, I could stay on the phone with someone that just needed to talk to a friend about issues with which they were struggling. And when these friends of mine would call me with the news that they were divorcing with the ensuing arrangements about children and finances, I was sorrowful, but thankful that I did not have to go through such upheaval.

Do I want to marry someday? Sure. Do I enjoy the close relationship of a lady who shares not only my faith and values, but my humor, happiness and sorrows? Sure. Have I met the "right one for me" yet? I don't think so, but sometimes I wonder if the one woman for me is living somewhere in Argentina and happened to miss the boat to the USA back in the 1970's. I've always just trusted God to use his divine sledgehammer to whack me into realization whenever she comes along.

Many people I know are consumed about the fact that they are not married, either by divorce, widowed, or never married. They feel alone, rejected and like they are not a complete person. They feel like they are not living the full life as God wants. I would tend to disagree with this for the following reason.

Genesis 28:15 tells us that God is and will be with us always. God was using Jacob and Moses all along, even when they did not recognize Him. Once they did, God was able to use them in great and mighty ways to accomplish His work. As single adults, we need to realize that God is present in our lives and wants to use our lives for His work and we should quit feeling left out of His plan. You just need to ask Him how you can be used. You could be helping newly divorced or widowed people, being supportive of single parents, joining together in accountability with others to remain in touch with God or being a part of just a fun group of people who don't have to worry as much about curfews, homework and truant officers.

The apostle Paul was "content in whatever circumstances he found himself" (Philippians 4:11). One of those circumstances was being a single Christian and God used him in a mighty way. I know that God will continue to use me in a ministry unique to my own gifts and talents (bizarre as they may seem at times.) More importantly, however, I just want to be used by God as an example that you can live a fun, exciting, fruitful and Godly life as a single Christian guy.

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