The Beauty of Forgiveness

by Victoria Gaines
Published October 27, 2006

"I can forgive, but I cannot forget, is only another way of saying I will not forgive. Forgiveness ought to be like a cancelled note - torn in two, and burned up, so that it never can be shown against one" ~ Henry Ward Beecher.

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness" ~ 1 John 1:9

"You will know that forgiveness has begun when you recall those who hurt you and feel the power to wish them well." ~ Lewis Smede

"And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ also forgave you" ~ Ephesians 4:32.

It's taken me decades to realize that unforgiveness truly grieves the heart of God. We may not fully comprehend the magnitude of His mercy, but this I know--He hung on a cross for me. What is my faith worth if I can't demonstrate His mercy towards others?

For me, the forgiveness concept began as mere head knowledge. Everyone knows that if someone hurts us, it's best to forgive, let it go, or let the whole thing eat our lunch. Keep short accounts, we're told. True. Even New Agers promote forgiveness as the prerequisite for spiritual health. But it's not about us so much as it's about Him, and how He's called us to live. Forgiveness is a lifestyle.

When life smacks us, we start to deal with forgiveness experientially, not as a principle anymore. And it hurts. Yep, when someone marrs my reputation, or abandons me in friendship, I tend to sulk or defend myself before it crosses my mind to forgive. Daily grievances are hard enough to deal with, but what about the bigger stuff--like rape, robbery, or drunken drivers?

True forgiveness take supernatural enablement. But Christ's power in us (to forgive) isn't activated by our feelings. God doesn't say wait until you reach the place you're able to forgive. No, but a counselor once told me this. That lie shackled me for about 10 years. Not until God pulled me out of darkness and opened my eyes to the truth, did the shackles fall off, either. The truth? Forgiveness is something we must choose inspite of all feelings to the contrary. When we choose to forgive a debt, we release that person to God and invite Him to work in our hearts, to heal and deal with our emotions. I've found this to be true, over and over again. To speed the healing, try praying for the person who wounded you. None of us, after all, have suffered yet unto death like Christ. How long will we let stings and bruises stop the flow of grace in our lives?

Others may be grudge-holders, but we can't afford to be. God is still shaking me loose from sinful coping mechanisms. In my flesh, I'm a grudge-holder, but as I walk by the Spirit, He sets me free to forgive and love and shower His mercy.

The beauty of forgiveness is that it creates a fragrance where others can sense a restoration in us. A bitter heart destroys relationships and contaminates the spirit. Once we drink from the cup of God's mercy, let's pass that cup around. ~

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