Seven Promises from Your Husband: #2

I am committed to pursue you, learn more about your dreams, thoughts, and all you have to share.

She is sitting across the table from her husband, visibly upset with him. During the past few weeks she has attempted to share her concerns about several subjects concerning family matters and although they have talked about them in length, her heart had not be truly heard. The husband is not exactly calm himself, he feels confused and hurt that such an accusation is made; after all, He was quite engaged in the discussion. He had come up with what he thought to be a plan of action, based on scripture and faith in God’s provision, what more could be done?

That’s when I realized I was wrong, that I was not fully engaged in the pursuit of my wife or the concerns of her heart. . In the first chapter of James, he writes “. . . let everyone be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger . . .” (1:19). In the previous weeks I had been too quick to speak, too impressed with my ability to size up the situation and pronounce a remedy for it. I needed to adjust the empathy setting on the listening units on both sides of my face. A decision, which says, “I want to understand how you feel.” Even if I feel what I am hearing is incredibly wrong or mixed up, I will be patient and listen. Even if what I am hearing makes me angry, I will think about what you are saying, not about what I am going to say in return afterward. This choice lets my wife know that I’m going to be really listening to the heart, not just the information being shared.

Thankfully my wife and I communicate very well, and we were able to get to core issues to effectively understand each other. I now know how to pray for her concerns; I now know where I have been weak in my leadership role, all simply by choosing to really listen. If I was not willing to humble myself and go further in the pursuit of my love’s heart, we would not have been able to arrive where we needed to get to. This is part of what promise number two means to me, the willingness to consistently move towards my bride in a fashion that makes her feel valued. To create for her, a place to be comfortable in sharing her heart with me. I’m still learning this, the Father is teaching more everyday about this wonderful woman I married. As I listen to His heart I’ll be able to listen to hers in a way she needs most.


“Let the wife make the husband glad to come home, and let him make her sorry to see him leave.” Martin Luther

Blessings,
Jay

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© 2009 Jay Cookingham - All rights reserved.
Jay Cookingham recently published two articles for the God's Way series. You can visit his home page at http://Jaycookingham.com

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