Off The Cuff

by Tom Gilbert
Published September 4, 2007

Have you ever made a comment without really thinking about what you were saying only to realize it was crass, rude, sarcastic or inappropriate? Of course. It’s probable we all can plead guilty to this.

In our often hectic world there are ample opportunities for us to say things we later regret. We shoot from the hip. Unfortunately, these off the cuff remarks can be damaging. They can be words that hurt, or at least be insensitive. Wouldn’t it be great if our instinctual responses were always uplifting and positive?

Think Before You Speak

I often find that when things are busy or chaotic I’m more inclined to speak before considering what I am saying. I might make a caustic remark when my intent was to be funny. Or I can be so frustrated over a deadline that when someone interrupts I show no patience and even express anger. This is really bad when the person interrupting has a legitimate reason to talk to me. They come looking for help and I snap at them! That’s about as un-Christian as one could be.

Somehow Jesus was able to handle demanding crowds and arrogant religious leaders with grace, tolerance and love. We hardly ever read of the Lord being angry. Sure, there is the account of the moneychangers in the Temple getting their tables overturned. But if we ponder deeply what he was doing perhaps we’ll discover his intent was to both cleanse the Temple of deceitful practices and also to make a point in a public way. Sometimes, too, it seemed Jesus was exasperated with people’s lack of faith or his disciples’ failure to grasp a teaching. Even then he was remarkably patient. And the words the Gospels attribute to him are full of wisdom, depth, compassion and love.

It Takes Discipline

It takes spiritual discipline and practice to learn to pause when agitated and respond with words that are kind and considerate. It may always be easier to say what ever pops into our head, but there is a reason why we’re told we should engage brain before speaking.

Flippant responses are usual shallow. Words of love have weight and depth. To think of others first and considering carefully what we say takes practice. It also takes the inspiration of God speaking to and through us. I think this is what Christ means when he said in Luke 12:10-12, "When you are brought before synagogues, rulers and authorities, do not worry about how you will defend yourselves or what you will say, 12for the Holy Spirit will teach you at that time what you should say." Sure, Jesus was referring to times when followers are brought before others with the need to defend their faith. But, I think it could apply as well to any instance where a considerate response would be better than a snappy reply.

Guard the Tongue

Maybe we can best learn to respond properly in all occasions by developing a good habit of prayer and meditation that includes humbly asking the Holy Spirit to direct our thoughts and guard our tongue. In the letter of James in the New Testament there is a stern warning to do just that. “With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be.” (James 3:9-10)

As we go through each day let us ask for the wisdom from above that will help us to say the right things in all situations. Don’t get too upset when you fail, because none of us is perfect. But the more we can learn to speak the language of love the better we will all be for it.

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