Maturity, Or Fear?

by Brooke Bergan
Published January 17, 2006

A few weeks ago I attended a rehearsal for our children's Christmas pageant. After it finished, the preschoolers rehearsed for their program, scheduled for the following morning. The adults chuckled as a tightly disorganized line of children made their way to the platform. One song in particular started out slow in tempo but picked up partway through. As the speed increased, one little girl began to jump up and down excitedly. Several adults, including myself, laughed quietly at the girl's antics. Then something happened. She hesitated. Then she stopped. Her excitement disappeared, and in its place was the awareness that others were laughing at her. She realized she was different, and in a matter of seconds her childlike abandon turned to caution and concern.

How many of us have had similar experiences? My guess would be we all have. At some point in our lives, each of us make that decision to trade in our lively freedoms for the chains of grown-up concern. Lately, however, I have felt the urge at times to simply let loose and worship God without those fears, both at home and in church. I want to worship God with reckless abandon, but deep down I'm still afraid of appearing childish. Still, when I'm alone with God, there are times when His Spirit moves upon my heart so that I want nothing more than to let loose and dance before Him. I've even tried it. Yes, you read that correctly. The otherwise shy and quiet Brooke has danced before God, at least for the few brief moments before my inner grown-up tells me I look like an idiot. What am I afraid of, and why? Why should any of us be afraid to worship God amongst family and friends? Shouldn't we simply live to please our Father? What's wrong with being childish? Jesus Himself has said: "I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it." (Mark 10:15-16 NIV)

To be honest, I don't have all the answers, but I do know that I hope to someday be as grown up as a little three-year-old girl at a church Christmas program.

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