Lord, I Hurt – Part II

by Victoria Gaines
Published November 27, 2006

“For I am afflicted and needy and my heart is wounded within me.” Psalm 109: 22 (NASB)

A broken heart robs us of joy and energy. It hurts. Even though we were put here to do more than exist, our struggles can strangle our best intentions. Some women feel discouraged, stuck, anxious--even distant from God. When we’ve traveled down the road of personal devastation, it’s easy to think God abandoned us somewhere along the way. But that’s not true. And time does not heal all wounds. If it did, there wouldn’t be such deep-seated pain in the world.

But wholeness is the spiritual birthright of every believer. Our God, after all, is Jehovah Rapha - the Lord who heals. Then why do we suffer? Not everything we experience is due to whacky hormones. Some women let their emotions run amok, keeping fear and anxiety as twin companions. “I was walled in by a deep, ever-present pain in my soul, which expressed itself through certain acts of self-destruction and a paralyzing fear that controlled my every breath,” Stormie Omartian writes. Are you easily hurt? Have serious intimacy issues? Some women describe being withdrawn, overly passive, and full of self-loathing. Emotional ‘heart’ symptoms reveal themselves through fits of rage, criticism, food and drug addictions, irritability, and constant fear of rejection. Over-achieving may be one way to cover our pain, but there are others. Since the mind can’t repress emotional pain forever, physical symptoms often manifest through insomnia, ulcers, intestinal problems, panic attacks, headaches, and other things.

“Whether your hurt is from scars from as far back as early childhood abuse or from this week’s untimely severing of a precious relationship, you can be a whole person,” Stormie says. Unresolved issues cripple our relationships and stunt our spiritual growth. If we’re adding baggage with each new conflict, it’s time to realize that this is not “just the way I am.” After years of inner turmoil, the Lord finally asked me: Do you really want to be healed? Sometimes it’s easier to hold onto pain when it’s all you’ve ever known. But holding onto pain brings spiritual bondage and depression. Not until I was willing to crawl over shards of broken glass for my own healing, did I begin to take God’s truth seriously.

Emotional issues stem from damage through emotional, physical, sexual, or spiritual abuse. It results from other people’s offenses against us, our own sinful choices and behavior, a trauma or calamity that overcame us, drug or alcohol use, or occult involvement.

No matter what has happened to you, God wants to heal you. The journey from brokenness to wholeness doesn’t happen overnight, but you can start healing today by acknowledging Jesus Christ as Lord over every area of your life. Two lies that hindered my own healing for years: 1). I’m the only one who has suffered this way—the bible won’t help me. 2). My relationship with God hasn’t done me much good. If you believe these lies, you’ll stay stuck! Renounce them. Put yourself in the path of God’s healing and embrace truth every step of the way.

Drawing from the book, Lord, I Want to Be Whole, some steps that led Stormie Omartian to wholeness:

Step One: Release the past

Unconfessed sin puts a wall between God and us. It’s not your fault that someone abused you, but your response to the abuse is now your responsibility. Let’s go to the Lord and give Him any sin, anger, or resentment we’ve harbored. Don’t let bitterness entangle your heart. Repent of anything the Lord brings to mind. Let Him lift this weight from you once and for all, and cleanse you.

Now ask the Holy Spirit to show you anyone you’ve not forgiven yet. Maybe you’ve forgiven someone but find yourself still critical. Let the hurt go. Don’t wait until you feel forgiving. Few of us do. This isn’t about feelings; it’s about choosing to obey the Lord inspite of our hurts. When we choose to forgive, God will deal with our feelings.

Unforgiveness that has festered for years might try to resurface even after you’ve forgiven. Remind yourself that you already forgave this person. Refuse resentment. Forgiving our abusers is not letting them off the hook. When we forgive, we let ourselves off the hook, trusting God to deal with our abuser. He then heals our emotions over time. Forgiveness is not optional for the believer. We trust Him to enable us by the power of His Holy Spirit to do what seems impossible.

Receive your own forgiveness. “Emotionally wounded people often feel guilty about not being what they think they should be,” Stormie says. Believe God when He says “if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). To berate ourselves and wade in guilt after being forgiven means we aren’t taking God at His Word. How can we be released from the past unless we both receive and give forgiveness?

Step Two: Live in Obedience

Stormie writes: “For anyone who has been emotionally wounded in any way, a certain amount of deliverance and healing will happen in your life just because you are obedient to God.” According to 1 John 2:5, “If anyone obeys His Word, God’s love is truly made complete in him.” God doesn’t stop loving us when we don’t obey, but it’s hard to feel His love when we’re not living like He designed.

1. Take charge of your mind. Choose to let the mind of Christ control you, assuming you’re born again. We renew our minds by “taking every thought captive to make it obedient to Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5). One friend struggled with sexual thoughts that popped into her mind during Sunday sermons and prayer times. Once she recognized this mental oppression from the enemy, she renounced the thoughts and images, replacing them with scriptural truth. The thoughts stopped. We can also refuse to dwell on painful memories. Just because a thought crosses our mind, doesn’t mean it has to stay there. It’s hard to be healed emotionally if we replay scenes from the past.

Are you selective about what you allow into your mind? What about TV, books, radio, movies, and internet? Ask the Holy Spirit: Is this good for me? Anything that comes from God will never leave you fearful or depressed. Do your books leave you feeling unhappy or dissatisfied about your life? Stop reading them. Same thing with movies.

Do you wander from one anxious thought to another? Do regrets have you in a sling? Push the ‘off’ button on negative mental tapes. Pray that God will enable you to take every thought captive, recognizing negativity as soon as it starts. Spiritual warfare is fought in the mind. To make headway, we deliberately feed our minds on the truth of God’s Word. “To be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace” (Romans 8:6, NKJV).

2. Renounce occult involvement. This means separating ourselves from anything that pulls us away from God. The Lord Jesus Christ alone is our power source. Looking to anything else is wrong. Renounce past or present involvement with things like astrology, horoscopes, Ouija boards, numerology, hypnotism, yoga, palm reading, fortune telling, transcendental meditation, false religions, New Age teachings, chakra/reiki healings, seances, etc.

3. Say no to sexual immorality. A desperate need for love and closeness has lured many a woman into the wrong relationship. Sex outside of marriage is sinful and scars our soul. To break the soul-tie that forms through sexual involvement, we need to ask God’s forgiveness. Sexual immorality is very damaging emotionally. If you’ve sinned in this area, confess and be cleansed.

4. Clean out your house. Ask the Lord to show you if there’s anything you own that needs to be thrown out. Stormie had to not only stop reading about spiritism and the occult once she became a believer, she got rid of the books. She also gave away reminders of her first marriage, old boyfriends, and anything that didn’t edify her or honor God. For discernment, fill your heart and mind with God’s Word. Ask God to show you if there’s anything detestable in your house.

5. Take care of your body. We can’t have emotional health without a certain degree of physical health. Our minds and emotions are affected greatly when we neglect these areas: managing stress (constant emotional pain heaps more stress on us), nutrition, regular exercise (toxins, poisons, and stress build up in our systems), proper water intake, rest, fresh air and sunlight.

6. Watch your words. Stop saying you’re hopeless (or worthless, stupid, crazy, etc) and start acknowledging Christ as your Hope and your Life. Our words often reveal what’s going on in our hearts.

7. Fast and pray. This can be a time of drawing closer to God, to pray and sensitize your spirit to His Spirit, to feed on His Word, to stabilize you when your life feels out of control. Ask God what He is saying to you about fasting.

Remember: The truth won’t do us any good unless we believe it for ourselves. Will you choose to release the past, forgive, and walk in obedience? Next month we’ll discuss finding deliverance and restoration.

Lord, heal me. Show me where I’ve not been obedient. Set me free from anything that prevents me from moving forward with You. Enable me to forgive and walk in Your truth. Flood my heart with peace as I choose to let go of the past and my former way of thinking. Amen.

“For I will restore health to you and heal you of your wounds, says the Lord” (Jeremiah 39:17, NKJV).

(Recommended reading: Lord, I Want to Be Whole, and The Power of a Praying Woman by Stormie Omartian)

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