Food For A Love-Starved World

by Brooke Bergan
Published December 3, 2005

Last winter I lived a pretty normal life. I drove to church, the post office, and the grocery store, all the while minding my own business and singing along to the latest song by Michael W. Smith. Then it happened. Something, or someone, caused my Christianized bubble to burst. I started noticing teenaged couples who boldly stood in public with lips held together by some ruthless inner vacuum. I would pause and wonder how long two people could hold such a pose before their basic need for air caused them to part. Inwardly I would groan as the phrase "Get a room!" came to mind. Outwardly, I would look away.

How many of us walk down the street and grimace at a teenage guy and his girlfriend who are doing things that, at best, should be done in private, and at worst, shouldn't be done at all? What happens between the stage where a girl is nervous about her first kiss and the stage where, well, everywhere's a stage? Here's my theory: Young couples (or even older ones in today's world) often don't take time to get to know one another before jumping into such physical activities as hugging, holding hands, and kissing. Because they don't know each other, they can't have true feelings for each other or be assured that the other person has feelings for them. So instead of sitting and talking and enjoying each other's company, they get physical. They seek the adrenaline rush that comes from physical contact, but after awhile, just like any drug, the effect wears thin. They begin needing more intimate contact in order to experience that same rush that originally came from simply holding hands. Before you know it, they've gone all the way, with or without marriage.

You may think this sort of thing is limited to non-Christian couples, but it's not. I've seen Christian couples do the same thing, and within weeks they can't keep their hands off each other. While their morals or upbringing may cause them to pause long enough to get married before sleeping together, it's the same thing as a non-Christian couple - they need both the adrenaline rush and the assurance that comes with that of their so-called love for each other. When they become bored with the union of marriage and all that it provides, they begin to fight, and when sweet words and kisses don't resolve things as in the past, they seek divorce and move on to the next lover.

Perhaps it startles you to hear Christian couples spoken of in such a blunt manner, and please understand I'm not speaking of all couples by any means. There are many Christian couples whose genuine and Christlike love for each other has inspired me to wait for that one person whom God has prepared to become my spouse. However, what I have written is an honest view from a single woman living in today's world. Whatever happened to biblical principles in dating and relationships? More importantly, what happened to learning to live in contentment with the love God gives, whether or not there's a "significant other" in our lives?

Friends, let's seek after God. If you're married, seek after Him both separately and together with your spouse. If you're single, take advantage of the lack of family responsibilities to seek after God as never before, and to serve Him with all your heart. For all of us, let's ask for God's help to show a love-starved world that the right way, the only way to find true love is by seeking it in the Lord Jesus Christ.

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