Flickering

by Paul Dawn
Published March 13, 2006

Today is a beginning of a new season in my life!

One of the things that I promised the Lord when He gave me Hill Country Thoughts, is that I would be honest, open and real and share what He puts on my heart and that is not always an easy thing to do.

Since December till present time I have been in a real funk, just not understanding what was going on, why I am feeling the way I am feeling, why the battles, why must I deal with this constant pain, physical, asking the Lord, can’t you just remove it, can’t you just heal it?

I let the Lord know, I am tired, my emotions are a wreck. When I see families together, husband and wives, and grandparents with their grand children, so many memories flood my being, that at times it is hard to deal with it, asking the Lord, can’t I just come home, knowing already the answer to that.

But I also know my Father is able to carry me through this, if I will but stay focused on Him, allowing Him to do what needs to be done in everything and to simply trust Him.

It is easier said then done, isn’t it?

So while praying this morning, having a conversation with the Father about the last couple of months, asking Him what is going on in my life, what is happening, where am I going, what’s wrong?

In my heart, the word flickering kept coming to mind and I began to wonder about that word, what does it mean and how does it apply to my hit and miss writing of lately?

As I looked up the word, I found it to mean several things, to move irregularly, unsteady, to burn or shine fitfully or with a fluctuating light, flickering!

Then I realized what the Lord ways saying to me. That I had been allowing the events of the last couple of months, to be like a wind, that was blowing, causing me to be off course, causing me to flicker, instead of abiding in the Lord, under His covering, I was focused on me instead of Him. How often do we allow things to distract us from our relationship with the Lord, with our Father.

That we look at our situations rather than the one who is our covering, our shield, our defense, the one who prevents the flickering in our lives if we focus on Him, allowing the Holy Spirit to speak to us, that we look to the Lord at all times, in all seasons of our lives.

The one thing that I have found for sure, is if we will come with an open heart and a honest heart to our Father, He will answer. He will reveal Himself to us, even as He did to me today and make known what it is that we need to deal with in our lives, so that we can be in unbroken fellowship with Him, for that is His desire.

That we be in communion with Him at all times! That we can walk in an attitude of worship, of praise, of prayer and in doing so, we remain in tune with Him.

I don’t want to be a flickering light, do you? To be irregular and unsteady in my relationship with the Lord, with my Father, or with my friends.

Rather, I want to be a light that burns brightly, reflecting the Lord in all that I do. A steady flame, abiding in the the Lord, under His covering.

How about you?

Till Later,
Paul

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